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ETA: Fuck you, PETA! I knew they were shameless, opportunistic, sexist, and racist, but this is tacky, even for them. It's moments like this that I want to eat a steak out of spite. Also, I really miss steak. They are the reason I have to explain my vegetarianism to everyone I know. They're insensitive and dishonest! Just go ahead and keep alienating the world, you idiots. See where it gets you! /eta

I just want to be clear about my last journal. I am stricken with grief, fear, and anger right now over the death of someone that I admired and whose work I cared about. I'm not interested in trying to convince anyone of anything. I'm grateful that you guys understand that, and even if you don't, I hope you don't think I hate you or anything. Everyone has the issue about which they are most passionate. I grew up in a family that, to put it euphemistically for the sake of my relatives, had problems. I witnessed firsthand what it meant to be thought of as a disposable item. A body and not a person. These feelings run deep.

Furthermore, it's not the journal I originally wanted to write. I was planning to write about the fact that on Saturday, I told my sister that I'm taking her to Southern California and Disneyland this weekend for her thirteenth birthday. This is the thing about which I've been so excited. I've been planning this for some time and I even uploaded video of her opening her card on youtube for my family and friends. I've mentioned it in comments but I didn't want to talk about it on my journal in case she happened to check my page. I've been living on peanuts and small quantities of rice the last two weeks because all of my money has to go into bills. I kind of set aside everything else for this trip. For reasons I don't really want to discuss at the moment, this trip is really important to me.

As I was setting up my journal to write, I had my blogs open in other tabs and ran across the information that inspired my previous journal. So it's very hard for me to be in a good mood about anything right now. I'm sure I'll be back to my usual self eventually. In the meantime, thanks for your understanding.

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